Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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