note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize