when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
