Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
