hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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