My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
