The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
no you cant smoke seaweed
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
