I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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