I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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