Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
