Whod you bang
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
false alarm, still single
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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