i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
