In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
