; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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