no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize