OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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