He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
