dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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