He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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