i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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