So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
