the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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