do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
