Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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