All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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