I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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