He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize