I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
