Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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