direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
