i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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