Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
