just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
