I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
