i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
