I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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