are you still at the devil's house?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
