So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
