Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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