i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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