Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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