You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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