a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I want to be your penis for a week.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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