Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize