Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
