Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
