would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
