If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
