Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
