Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
