all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
