how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
