i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
God, I missed his penis.
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