Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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