So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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