i think my tv is drunk
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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