well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
