U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
