Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
