You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
