Kiss
Puke
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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