We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
