i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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